What Had Happened Was…
“You are stronger than you think and more than you know. Be curious and determined. ”
I started this blog, because I’m often asked about my writing journey. I always get excited to tell the elevator pitch version that gets most people hype and inspired: I was going to self-publish on Amazon— had researched how to get rich doing it. Publishing wasn’t putting out many YA romance novels featuring two Black kids frolicking and falling in love at the time, so Amazon was my goal. Then Pitchwars came along. I pitched my book and boom— seven-way Big Five grown-up six-figure auction, I’m here with foreign deals and a pandemic baby. But there’s so much more to it. We all draw inspiration from the life experiences of others. I hope that by telling my story, someone is encouraged and starts to believe that they can do The Thing that’s been calling to them from the inside too. If that’s you, even if you don’t see the time, resources, possibility—I can tell you from experience that we really do all have the same 24 hours in a day as Beyoncé and that the challenges on your path, even that big seemingly insurmountable one, are preparing you to do The Thing.
My journey to published authordom began on a vision board in 2015. I’d been a lifelong reader and was about decade into blogging at the time. I stopped working outside my home in 2008 when I became mother to a son who needed spinal cord surgery as an infant. As a person who’d kept at least one job, at most three at a time from the time I was old enough to work, having to stop suddenly was a blessing and a blessing-in-disguise. I’m a classic Virgo— striving to be perfect in my work and being harder on myself than anyone should ever be. I like and need to feel in control of the life I’m building with my husband. Having a baby with a tethered spinal cord threw any sense of control I had out the window. I was a fish out of water. Fast forward to caring for my baby full time through recovery and beyond— I was going to be the epitome of the American stay-at-home mom. I joined organized mother organizations and playgroups and quickly became a leader. My blog that had previously been an eclectic collection of humor, social commentary, beauty and book reviews morphed into a mommy blog. I bought recipe books because I was finally, finally, going to learn how to cook. I poured every once of whatever I had inside me into being the quintessential stay-at-home wife, mom and ultimately homeschooler. Eventually, there was very little left to pour into being the best version of my self for my family and ultimately nothing available to pour into my self. I stopped blogging and curating social media content that told a happier story that I was living, and I began to experience bouts of depression that became harder and harder to hide from my husband, young son and closest friends.
Almost two decades ago, I’d have set out to tell this story in a series of posts. However, in the age of social media, I plan to tell my story kind of like a thread. I’ll keep updating this blog post, briefly chronicling the highlights of the unique road to my debut novel by year from 2015 to 2023. The years and subtitles are listed below.
2015: Homeschooling & The Vision Board
2016: “Look Mom No Hands!” & Calling My Name
2017: Zadie Smith, A Solar Eclipse, 40 & Utopia, Tx
2018: How To Write A Novel, Pitchwars & Utopia Again
2019: Africa, A Witch Doctor & PITCHWARS ME SAY!
2020: Book Deals, Film Agents & A Baby
2021: Was a blur.
2022: Book Launch!
2023: Cheers!
I’m terrible at managing subscriptions, so please bookmark this page and follow me on Instagram or Facebook (my Twitter is archived for now, but feel free to follow me if you have more faith than I do that I’ll be back over there) so you know when this post gets updated. When and how often only Black Jesus knows. I’m also terrible at keeping a writing schedule, so bless it. Comments are not enabled here, but we can chat under the blog posts on IG and FB.
In the meantime, if you’re into podcasts and spoilers, I tell my abbreviated story on Rhonda Coleman Wandel’s podcast. Her content provides “roadmaps for women looking to recharge, obtain clarity, and move forward in purposeful pivots”. Click here to hear my story. Find the Rhonda Coleman Wandel podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Also? As before, books (and maybe other things) that I mention on this blog might be highlighted by an Amazon Affiliate link. Which means I’ll earn commission of purchases made when you click through. I won’t know who’s buying what, so don’t be shy. And thanks in advance.
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